Why so many feel empty - A case for purpose
Happiness vs Purpose?
I have a friend who, whenever they get some time off work, goes off to climb mountains as a hobby. It's hard, dangerous, often physically painful—in many ways this is a pretty insane way to spend a long weekend. Meanwhile, I have another friend who goes to tropical beaches and drinks cocktails. This hobby is a bit easier to understand; by all measures it's relaxing and pleasant. However, each of these friends swears by their hobby being the best way to "get away." And I think they are both right.
Fundamentally, these two trips are aiming at different goals. The beach optimizes for moment-to-moment happiness (sometimes called hedonic happiness). Every minute of the beach is enjoyable and feels pleasant. On the other hand, the mountain climb is more aimed toward retrospective satisfaction—the sense of accomplishment from looking back, the feeling of victory from getting to the top. Minute to minute, the beach wins hands down, but looking back at the view from the mountain top brings more satisfaction than a beach photo.
Humans need both of these emotions to survive. Climbing mountains every day would wear you down, and going to the beach every day would eventually ring hollow no matter how good the cocktails. So the real question is: what aspect of life do you need more of—hedonic happiness or more purpose (life satisfaction)?
It's hard to speak for most people, but I do think on average more people are missing purpose. As a society, on the big calls I think people often pick happiness over purpose (e.g., jobs, hobbies, cities, relationships).
Is purpose more important?
"Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'." - Viktor Frankl
I think there is also a case that purpose is more important in some ways.
Resilience: It is often more durable, with happiness being more fleeting thanks to the hedonic treadmill. (The hedonic treadmill is the phenomenon in which many things affect our happiness far less and for a far shorter time than we predict. Winning the lottery only affects people's happiness in the first year after people win, due to people adapting. This leads to a treadmill effect of always needing to run faster to get anywhere.)
Happiness effects: Purpose can also more directly set a floor on your happiness. If you have a highly purposeful life, you can often endure pain, suffering, and boredom—all of which are inevitable in any life. Often I notice people with high purpose only get to a 4/10 even on bad days, whereas someone who had a 9/10 day yesterday doing something meaningless easily drops to a 2/10 the day after.
Social value: Purpose also tends to be more positive-sum, meaning a society with many people having purpose leads to better outcomes, as purpose-driven behavior typically creates value for others, while happiness-seeking can often be zero-sum (e.g., status competition, resource consumption).
How to gain purpose
"Life's most persistent and urgent question is: 'What are you doing for others?'" -Martin Luther King Jr
The clearest way to gain purpose is to work on something bigger than yourself—something that can affect others or society long-term.
Family: One of the most common ways is to have children and pour your time, energy, and love into a child in a way that provides huge life satisfaction (even if the day-to-day of changing a diaper is less than thrilling). Even more broadly, supporting and providing for a family (children or adults) can give some of this deep satisfaction that no beach will ever bring. However, this is not the only—or even necessarily the best—way to get purpose.
Creation: Another way some gain purpose is from creation and personal expression. Whether it's writing, painting, or poetry, creating a work you are proud of can connect deeply to purpose. This works best if you are creating something that both you and others find value and meaning in, but overall creation can be a powerful tool to enable purpose and can be paired with other purpose-driving activities.
Impact: Making a difference in the world via a job or charitable donation can give a deep sense of meaning. Saving the life of another in the modern day is shockingly easy and cheap (~$3,000). Philanthropists can help hundreds on the other side of the world, and a job working at something that will make a difference wakes you up in the morning far more than a good cup of coffee would. Even from a purely selfish perspective, making an impact can be a great way to increase your purpose. I think this is the type of purpose that most people neglect and could benefit from digging into—it doesn't always take a massive life change either. Something like the 10% pledge can give a lot of purpose with minimal other effects.
Overall
I think purpose is important, neglected, and there are some easy wins where you can weigh it a little more heavily in your life to increase your sense of purpose.
Climbing mountains isn’t low happiness! I love to do challenging hikes and while they are hard I (mostly) feel delightfully happy while I do it. I love seeing the trees change, chipmunks and squirrels moving with ease, the wind blowing softly or breezing hard, and the views as I get higher. I like the strain in my body because it makes me appreciate how well it still works, even in my 50s. Heck I even appreciate the weight of my heavier-than-necessary day pack because it helps me get stuff for upcoming multi-day backcountry backpacking trips.
Now I don’t know I’d count it high in purpose. I’m not building (other than myself). I’m not doing anything to help my family (other than that a happier mom and wife is a better one). I’m not contributing anything useful to society (other than the unconscious rejuvenation that will probably help me be more creative the next day).
This is an interesting subject and very relevant in our time. I think it is also worth reflecting on that we have in fact created a life where just living itself doesn’t bring purpose, and it didn’t use to be like that before, because many professions and endeavors humans used to engage with naturally brought purpose with them.
Growing food and using it to feed your family/village has natural purpose. Tanning hides from a hunt and making them into clothes has natural purpose. People used to move with purpose.
But today as our work has become more obscure and intangible that purpose is gone. There is no sense of purpose to attending incessant meetings to optimize tactics for locking in maximum profits for the shareholders in the fourth quarter. That said, even today people who have chosen meaningful jobs (jobs we do not value, by the way, like nurses and teachers) don’t seem to struggle with a sense of purpose.
I’m all for climbing mountains, I love both hiking and indoor climbing, but I’m afraid these sorts of things are as close to ‘purpose’ as going to the gym is to ‘living a physical life’. They are sporadic activities you use to artificially inject meaning into a life you feel has none. They, as such, are of course better than not doing anything to enrich your life, but they are still band aids.
From my own life I have found that the activities that feel the most meaningful are those that change the world for the better, even in the smallest way. Altering or patching a garment instead of throwing it away. Going to a demonstration for a social cause. Getting involved with your community in some way - be it the local community centre, urban community garden, any sort of volunteering where the goal is to improve the neighborhood or the lives of people.
We are all way too focused on ourselves and mountains will only carry us so far.