A Month of Brilliance

Not my normal blog post style—instead, a fiction story I wrote a long time ago but never published, inspired by the movie Limitless.

May 25th, 2017

It occurs to me in the dying hours of the last day that I should record all that I have done to pass on to the next person who experiences the same change I have gone through. My writings could serve as a guide and a reminder of what can be accomplished. I might not remember it all, particularly the parts in the middle when I was at my peak, but it still seems worth doing. It might also be interesting, or perhaps sad, to look back on it myself and see what I was once like.

Before May 1st

Who was I?

It's hard to even remember now that I have changed so much. It almost seems like a foggy dream. It's truly remarkable how quickly one adapts to one's surroundings. A short while ago, only 30 days, I was a completely different person. I was an unemployed, shaggy-haired, unkempt 34-year-old man with no real future. I had recently been fired due to my habit of tardiness from my minimum wage job of selling cheap, unnecessary electronics. I spent most of my free time playing video games and browsing the internet. I had no real friends that I spent time with, and my family lived in a different city. That was fine with me. I didn't get along with them anyway. I had grown up in a small town and later moved to a larger city to go to college. After two years, poor grades, and no plan for what I would do with my degree, I dropped out and had been working ever since. I would rate my happiness back then at something around a 4/10. Not miserable, but consistently discontented and disappointed with myself and my accomplishments.

I had been having considerable trouble finding another job. People were wary of my resume and my previous short stays with other employers. I was always fired for being late. I just never seemed to figure out how long it would take me to get to work, and procrastinated too long before leaving the house. I had not been particularly good at any of my pursuits either. I was slow. It took me a long time to get the work done or think of solutions. I was okay with people if they were patient with me, but generally, I was a weak employee in most areas, so in hindsight my employment record should not have been surprising. I like to think that I was a good person back then. I gave a little to homeless people when I passed them (although perhaps more out of guilt than altruism), and I even donated some to charity (although mainly because a pretty girl had come to my door asking for contributions). It's hard to recall what my motives were so long ago.

Between jobs, I sometimes took work doing medical trials. They were pretty simple - take a pill here, visit a doctor there - and they paid better than any other job I could get. I had signed up for a trial starting May 1st. It was a bit of a strange one. They said they would most likely need me for a single day (which they would pay about a week's wages for), but might need me one day a week for a month (which they would pay a lot more for).

May 1st A real job

I showed up to the large center. It didn't really look like a medical building, more like a corporate office, but at the time I thought nothing of it (I was not all that critically discerning). There must have been several hundred people there. I was instructed to sit down and wait for my name to be called, after which they would take me to one of the smaller rooms to test if I was eligible. As I waited, I noticed other people being called into test rooms. Each person was either sent home with a check or asked to sit back down for the next test. The first test I was called up for was for blood and urine. I had no idea what they were testing for then, but I now know it was for trace drugs that might have interfered with the process and for compatible blood types. I never took drugs and was the right blood type (O negative), so was asked to sit back down in the lobby. I was disappointed at the time, since I figured I would likely not get to do the month trial but this process might still end up taking all day. I had not brought anything to read or do, and my cell phone was not even charged. The second test I took was measurements of my height and weight. I was both tall and heavy, which was good for this drug as they wanted to try extremely small doses. The next was an immune system test; I passed it as well. As the day went on, more and more people came and left. I was one of the few who ended up staying the whole day. The last test I took was a long IQ test. It was hard, and I was told my score at the end: 87 (quite a bit below average). I wasn't surprised but was a little sad. Amazingly, they said that was what they were looking for, and I was asked to sit back down in the main room. By the end of the day, out of the whole room of people, the only ones who had passed all the tests were me and one other. He was a big guy, also a little heavy but much more in shape than me. I often wonder what would have happened if he had gotten the drug and I had gotten the placebo.

Finally, we were given some large semi-translucent pills and told to take them once a day with a meal, starting that day. After that, we would both have to come in once a week to perform tests. They said it was a highly experimental drug and listed off what seemed like hundreds of possible side effects. We were told to call them if we experienced any. I took one as I got home, ate a huge dinner, and then promptly went to sleep.

May 2nd The first day

May 2nd was the first day of my new life. I woke up in my small, cheap bedroom of my shared apartment and felt different immediately. I felt fast, almost like I was very excited, but also unbelievably clear and focused. It was like I had just upgraded my computer and everything was running smoother; thoughts came quickly and easily. It was amazing. I felt unstoppable. I immediately went to my laptop, but instead of checking social media and messing around on useless forums, I went straight to a new site. I felt strongly compelled to learn something, anything. It was like I was hungry for knowledge, hungrier than I had ever been before. The news sites helped but were not enough; articles that were once complicated now seemed simplistic and dumbed down. I could read much faster as well, and understand everything I was taking in. It was a foreign feeling, one I could not remember ever experiencing. The news cycle quickly became boring and repetitive. I started diving into deeper and deeper online articles, anything I could find. First, I visited the wiki pages on concepts I had never quite understood, from electricity to how computers work to open issues in physics. I dove even farther down. Soon, I was reading only peer-reviewed studies. I paid for a journal subscription that very first day, as it suddenly seemed more important than anything I could've been paying for previously. After hours finally, I had read enough. My eyes had started to hurt from looking at the screen so intensely, and I decided to go for a walk. As I was walking, churning through all the information I had just read, it occurred to me that my abrupt shift in cognizance was likely attributable to the drugs. I had even read an article about drugs having noticeable cognitive effects on mice earlier that day. It seemed likely that I was in one of the first trials of an experimental intelligence drug, and that it worked. I had no idea what I would've scored on an intelligence test then (not that it mattered. I had read several compelling arguments underlining the flaws within IQ testing), but it would certainly have been much higher than I had scored just the previous day. As I walked by a building with a glass wall, I saw my own reflection and was shocked. I looked exactly the same as before, but now I really saw what it meant. I looked unpresentable. I dressed poorly, my hygiene was a mess, I looked tired and downtrodden. No wonder it was hard to get a job once I landed an interview. I wouldn't have hired myself looking like that. I decided on the spot that I should get a job that day. It would be a good test of my newfound abilities. I recalled seeing a "now hiring" sign on a corporate building a few days previously, not far from my house. But I couldn't apply for a job looking how I did. I made a detour to a local money lending company I knew well. I had borrowed money before in weeks when I needed to pay rent but did not have a job. They charged abysmal interest rates, but given the new me I suspected the return on investment would be many times higher. They gave me a few hundred dollars. Not nearly as much as I would have liked, but likely the maximum limit given my credit score. It would be enough anyway. I went into a nearby secondhand shop and spent a dozen minutes trying on suits. Finally, I found one that fit me well enough. It was a little outdated, but would be a huge improvement on the baggy hoodie and ripped jeans I had been wearing. The total cost came to $64. I next went home, started charging my phone, and showered for a considerable amount of time to make myself extra clean. I then spent what felt like forever brushing my long hair. I brushed my teeth, changed into the suit, and looked in the mirror. I saw what seemed to be a different person. Of course, I was a different person, thanks to the new drug. It was an improvement, but not good enough. I researched the company that I was going to apply to. It looked like an old-fashioned marketing company, so I did some research on marketing and downloaded information on the current industry trends and vernacular to my phone. I then went out to the closest barber and paid for a conservative, short haircut and styled beard trim. It cost $35, but I looked great afterwards, my very own extreme makeover. I had spent the entire 45-minute haircut reading everything I had downloaded about marketing. By the end, I felt prepared for the interview. I showed up to the building and talked to the receptionist. She was pretty, and I found jokes and wit came to mind faster than I had previously imagined possible. I charmed her into getting me an interview immediately. I was vastly underqualified for the job, but gaining confidence (and perhaps a bit of hubris) in my newfound abilities. I went into the large board room, no doubt chosen because it was intimidating. The boss was as large as he was well-dressed, clearly a powerful person who had earned his way in the marketing world starting from the bottom (at least that's what the bio on his website had said). I sat down comfortably in a chair across from him as he assaulted me with questions on marketing principles, leadership, and specific marketing scenarios. It was easy to pick up on subtle cues from the way he asked the questions and his reactions to my answers. Earlier that morning, I had read some studies on cold reading, but had never assumed it would be so easy. I knew what would please him, and I found it easy to direct him away from any questions regarding my background or past experience. By the end of the interview, he wanted to give me the job above the one I was applying for, accompanied by a 10% commission on any project I worked on. I graciously accepted, asking if I could start tomorrow morning. As predicted, he loved my enthusiasm and we came to an agreement on the spot.

I still had some of the day left, so I decided to focus my research on two topics: one, marketing, and two, intelligence enhancing drugs. By the time I took my pill, set my alarm, and went to bed, I was a reasonable expert in both areas.

May 3rd A real job

I woke up to the same high-speed functioning I had experienced the first day. In fact, I was even smarter, although I did not realize it at the time. It's hard to notice improvement when you have no easily identifiable comparison. I went into work, arriving at 6:30, 30 minutes before the boss came in (I had learned his arrival time from his secretary). In that 30 minutes, I managed to land a date with her and come up with a solution proposal for how to market one of the company's current clients. It was a masterpiece. The boss seemed shocked as he read it, and though he did not want to admit it, it was the best work his organization had done for years. He called the client, and within the hour he had signed a 2 million dollar contract. My commission was more money than I had earned in the last 10 years of working. I asked for the check that day and to take the rest of the day off. The boss wasn't happy; most people's work days hadn't even started yet, but he dared not risk losing my talent, so he agreed. In practice, I realized I likely would not even need a job. I could just do freelance work for the companies directly, but for now, the job came along with a convenient title that was easier to explain to people. I decided that since I had only been given a month's supply of pills (and there was no guarantee I would not build up a resistance before then), my time was now the most valuable resource. I cashed my check and checked into an expensive hotel room downtown, which would reduce travel and cleaning time (who really needed a house anyway?). My next move was to go online and hire a personal assistant, starting from that moment until the end of the month. I was able to offer a $10,000 salary for those few weeks, so there was no shortage of applicants. I spent the rest of the day screening them until I found the perfect candidate. His name was Jordan, and he had previously worked for several high-powered executives. He refused to tell me who, no matter how large a sum of money I offered. I liked that—I needed someone who could protect my anonymity if need be. He was sharp, with an MBA from Harvard, but I could still think circles around him. I started wondering if I was the smartest human alive currently (assuming no one else had been given the drug). It seemed possible. I was talking to highly intelligent people, and they were not even close. I wondered sadly if this had been how people viewed me just a few short days ago. At the end of the interview, Jordan asked me a question I had yet to ask myself. "What are your goals?" I must not have been that brilliant, for I had not even begun to consider my real objectives and had been, in fact, wasting valuable time in accomplishing useless subgoals. I decided that determining the answer would be tomorrow's sole project.

May 4th What are my goals?

As it turned out, to figure out my goals I had to go quite a bit deeper, delving into the question of my life's purpose. Out of all the things I tried to figure out, this one was shockingly easy, given that it was a large philosophical question that had been debated for ages. I think I expected it to be more challenging. After a fairly small amount of research and a number of thought experiments, it seemed to me that most people have the goal of making themselves happy. This breaks down into a number of subgoals such as being successful or having good relationships. The only other large-scale goal that made sense was helping others. Most people had these two overarching drives, although, of course, they were generally pretty bad at accomplishing them. Solving all of ethics seems pretty difficult and this felt like a good enough answer for the time being.

So if my large-scale goals were one, making myself happy, and two, helping other people, how would I go about accomplishing them?

I went into my job to work on the office computer with no real intention of doing marketing tasks for now. Happiness research was surprisingly limited, although I could find many useful pieces. I quickly made a checklist of behaviors to do once a day, ordered by how time-effective they were per effect size. Apparently, simple habits accounted for around 30-40% of the variance in people's happiness. Money, it turned out, was almost useless for making you happier, but relationships were key. I called Jordan and asked him to find a list of events, meetups, and social gatherings I could go to to meet like-minded people. He generated two lists: one of places I could go with my current abilities, and one of places that would have been well-suited to me pretreatment. I also got him to look through hundreds of online profiles to find potential partners for both me and my less intelligent self. It seemed like a good idea to set up systems to make me happy with my current abilities and happy even if I lost them. I decided not to pursue any of the social connections in the near future, at least until I knew whether my new abilities were permanent. I wanted to be prepared for the worst—losing all my current intelligence and returning back to my IQ of 87, where I had started just a few days before. With that in mind, I decided to work on a large marketing contract, put away enough savings to retire, and never have to work a job I did not enjoy. I asked the boss for the largest contract we had. It was one for 25 million dollars that we had already acquired but had made pitiful progress on in the last few months. It took me the entire rest of that day, but I ended up finishing the outline with little help from the other employees. When I showed it to my boss, he only asked one question: "How much of the profits are you expecting from this?" I answered honestly, saying that I wanted 10% up front as well as free use of his office space and the fastest computer he had for the rest of the month. He nodded his head and wrote the check. In two simple days I had transformed his company from an average marketing firm to, debatably, one of the best in the country. I put the money into an account built so that I could only withdraw $30,000 at the start of each year (I figured, who knows how much self-discipline my future self would have?). Setting myself up for long-term happiness did not really seem that challenging. I would not be perfectly happy, but I could certainly average at an 8/10 or higher, just based on the systems I had set up.

Looking out for my future self felt a bit like taking care of a child or a younger brother. If I kept my level of ability, I wouldn't really need much help. But I had no idea how long the drugs would work, or how easy the next batch would be to acquire. I went to sleep reading about drug manufacturing and intelligence enhancement, trying to figure out what had happened to me.

May 5th Helping other people

My goal of helping other people turned out to be the biggest challenge yet, much harder than personal happiness or making money. To be accurate, it was not really the helping of others that was difficult. That was pretty easy. It was helping as many people as possible as quickly as possible. As I researched the problems of the world, they seemed endless: poverty, war, crime, just hundreds and hundreds of issues. And there were hundreds of competing theories for how to solve these problems, most of them not evidence-based in the slightest. Sure, I could probably make good progress on any one of them, but which to focus on? Some problems were massively important, but had no evidence-based solutions. Others were very tractable, but seemed unimportant overall. I spent the entire day trying to make progress on prioritizing issues with very little success. This was not a problem that anyone, even someone with my abilities, could make progress on quickly. Exhausted and disappointed, I decided to take a break and circle back to the problem in a few days' time.

May 6th How did this happen?

The goal of my next day was to determine how I had changed so much and what on earth these drugs were doing to me. I started by researching general intelligence enhancement. I had learned quite a bit from my previous research, so I was able to make good progress. There were several drugs for intelligence enhancement being tested at the time, many with promising findings in mice. Most, if not all, were expected to be duds or provide only minor benefits (in the order of 5-10 IQ points). It was difficult to determine exactly which drug I was taking, as it was hard to find details of the specific trials going on. I spent a lot of time researching the possibilities, but eventually realized I would have to quiz the people who had given me the drug when I went in for testing. If I was lucky, I was the sole human currently taking the drug. The researchers did have quite a long screening process, and most of these drugs were tested on fairly small samples in their first trials. This was almost definitely a first trial—if they knew the possibilities, they would not be paying random participants to test the effects. They would be charging people to test it, or possibly even just using it on themselves.

After spending time researching which drug I might be on, I next considered the possible effects of an intelligence enhancer like this going to the market. This was a very complex issue, and no one really knew. It seemed quite likely that the cost per dose would be incredibly high. It had massively increased my own earning potential, and I could only imagine what it would do for someone who had a high intelligence to start with. Its high cost and reward would mean that it would probably go to only the highest bidders. The super wealthy and governments of the world would compete for usage. If the super wealthy won out, it would likely be used to acquire even more wealth and power, resulting in a few large companies quickly taking over the others and creating a virtual monopoly. This did not seem like a very good result for the world. If governments won the bidding war (or took it by force), the outcome seemed dichotomous. A much more hierarchical system would likely be put in place, with a few super-intelligent politicians making the vast majority of the choices. These choices would be made intelligently, but it once again would depend on their goals. If they cared about altruism, it could be great. With their positions and newfound abilities, world problems could quickly be solved and peace easily achieved. On the flip side, if a single dictator got their hands on the drugs, it would make sense to hoard them and kill off any possible intellectual competitors. It would be easy for a single individual with this kind of power to take over the world, and there was some strong evidence supporting the age-old claim that "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.".

Even with my abilities I felt fully unqualified to make a judgement on this question of what to do with to do with the drug. Now now, it did not seem worth the risk, and I believed that opening the drug to the market would be extremely dangerous. But how to stop it? That was work for another day. Sadly, I still had to sleep, and tomorrow was the testing and would likely take most of the day.

May 7th Testing

The testing was much more fun this time around, although equally difficult. The blood tests were pretty standard; same as last time. The IQ test was completely different. Not only were the puzzles incredibly easy, but I could figure out exactly what they were testing. I deliberately performed poorly, as I wanted to mimic the same performance I had last time. I wasn't sure I wanted the drug to go to market, and until I had a better plan, the best move seemed to be making it seem as though the drug had no effect on humans. If I changed my mind by next week, I could always perform much better then, and the end result would be almost the same as if I had done well this time around.

It would have been easy to solve every puzzle. I could see the disappointment in the tester as I performed poorly. While doing the tests, I quizzed the people in the room about the drug, their names, and how they had gotten involved in the project. I soon found the person most willing to talk, and managed to glean quite a lot of information from them, including the name of the substance I'd been given: 57K. Tests took all day (in part because I did so poorly on them) until finally I was allowed to go home (or at least back to the hotel room I now called home). I emailed Jordan to check on his progress, took my pill, and went to sleep.

May 8th Researching 57K

I was able to go into the office early and do research during the day. I spent almost the entire time looking very deeply into the drug I was taking. It had shown incredible results in lab mice and was estimated to not be compatible with humans. The intelligence enhancer was created by a small drug company that was trying fairly experimental drugs with low chances of success. This was all very good news. It was quite possible that if I did not show positive results, 57K would be tossed and they would try something different. That being said, I would've preferred to come up with a solution that was guaranteed to work. I started looking into buying companies or patents for specific drugs. It seemed fairly easy, and I decided that just to be safe, I would earn some more money and then buy the drug. It would take almost a full two days of work to buy the patent, including the cost of speeding up the transaction so I could get it soon. I worked on marketing for the rest of the day. I was really getting good at it by then.

May 9th Sad realizations

I started the process that I would follow for the next two days: wake up early, research drugs, switch to marketing when I needed a break, rinse and repeat. I dove into the research on 57K and learned more and more. It worked in a very unique way; it was a modified virus that impaired several key inhibitors in the brain, as well as sped up neuron-to-neuron transmission. Ironically, my blood tests probably showed that I was sick, and my immune system was trying to fight off a virus even though I had never felt better in my life.

I switched to marketing and made good progress on several projects. I wondered if I was completing more work than everyone else on the floor combined. It seemed quite possible. Would these marketing skills ever come in handy, or were they just a means of making money? I enjoyed it. I had considered getting a job in finance to earn money instead, but I was better at marketing before the drugs, and it was likely my comparative strength even after. Additionally, I expected finance would pay better but take longer to get good at. It seemed like it often took years to climb to a position where I would have the flexibility I currently had, but who knows, maybe not. I would've guessed before all this that marketing would be harder than it was.

I switched back to drug research. It was fascinating. I was now able to look up the specific trials that had been done on mice and see the results. They were outstanding. The mice's intelligence increased to several times their normal abilities, and they were able to do tasks they would never have been able to do before. I became more and more excited as I read the studies. They suggested that the drug should work for unintelligent and more intelligent people alike (as it did for mice). I would've loved to see what someone super intelligent beforehand would become with the aid of the drug. As I kept reading, I suddenly hit a wall. Sadness overcame me; it's amazing, really, how a few words can completely change your state of being. "In all cases, 57K was in time fought off by the immune system, and the subject was then resistant to future use, even at different doses or modified versions. Estimated time before the immune system would eliminate all effects in a human: 30 days." I sat there stunned. I had always considered it a possibility that the effects would be temporary, but it was truly shocking to know that it would definitely end, and soon. It felt a bit like dying. I would be a different person when I went back, I would lose so many of my abilities. Maybe not dying, then, but somewhat like being mentally paralyzed, unable to do the things I once could. Jordan had finished compiling the possible dates and social events I could attend, and I had my happiness checklist and enough money never to work again. But it would be nearly impossible to fix the world's problems in just 20 more days. I felt great loss, even tragedy. I switched back to marketing and worked the rest of the day trying not to think about it.

May 10th One more day's work

This was the last day I was going to work. I figured my time was now much too valuable to waste making money. I spent the whole day working, turning in a number of projects. As I had calculated, my commission was enough to buy 57K outright. I bought the drug, cancelled all current and further testing, and under a pseudonym asked the current researchers to send me all the data they had so far. Then I slept.

May 11th Understanding the drug

I spent the entire day looking at all the data from the drug research. I had been very lucky—I had cancelled it before any other trials had begun, since I had been in the very first one. It looked like no one else had gotten the exact same mixture I had, and no one else was exhibiting effects. I was most likely the only one in the world who knew its real power. I was able to research it, take it apart, and modify it. With my abilities, I quickly found a way to make it usable by people of any size and blood type (a previous restricting factor). I tried to change it and simulate the effects again and again, but try as I might, I could not find a way to make it work twice. To do that, I would need years' more research in immunology, neurobiology, and biochemistry. By the end of the day, I could use 57K on anyone in the world, but only for 30 days. Once my time was up, I could never use it on myself again.

May 12th Fixing the world

I had around 18 days to fix the world. This would be my ultimate challenge. I dove back into world issues. I was smarter this time; I started by looking at the most evidence-based areas of international global health to see if I could make progress. There was lots of research in this area, and even people trying to do exactly what I was: make the most possible difference in the least resource-intensive way. I quickly found organizations that were incredibly effective, many of them neglected and underfunded. These organizations were great, and would save me considerable time (as they already had infrastructure and I would not have to start all of them myself). In addition, some of them focused on things I would not have expected or predicted to work. As handy as they were, they were unnoticed by the rest of the world. Immediately, it seemed that a way to make a large impact would be to get them considerably more funding and attention. They needed more funding than I could earn in my 18 days, but maybe I could put my marketing skills directly to use for charity outreach. I started researching this possibility. It seemed like a very strong way for me to use my talents, as I could promote whichever charities were the most effective and would do the most good per dollar. Additionally, I would not have to put the considerable time necessary into starting a charity and then changing over all my infrastructure once a new study came out or a solution was found to whatever problem I was working on. Marketing skills were great. They could move much more quickly than other areas of expertise. It was a brilliant plan. It wouldn't allow me to solve all the world's problems, but it would certainly progress key areas of making the world better in a very time-effective way. As I researched more, I soon hit a block. It would take considerable time to do much of this marketing. It didn't matter how fast I worked, I would still have to A/B test certain strategies and it would take time to see the results. I needed funding, which would take a lot of time to earn, or still considerable time to fundraise. 18 days just wasn't enough... I needed more time. Just as I was thinking this, Jordan called and asked "if there was anything he could do for me." As he did, it struck me. I needed more time, but I didn't necessarily need more of my time. I needed to build a team. I told Jordan that his new task was to find me the best headhunters in the country, only the ones who could start working immediately. Price was no object. I went to bed excited for tomorrow.

May 13th - 20th Building a team

It took a week, but it was worth it. The headhunters had worked quickly and followed my instructions to a T. They had found me some of the best talent from around the world to help me change it. Most of them were young, idealistic, and intelligent, all of them were far more ethics focused than I was. They all had passion for the cause, and started working well together almost immediately. They came from all over the country. I recruited them out of school, out of less effective nonprofits, and from the for-profit world. They did not know me, but I knew them. I watched their interviews as the headhunters asked the exact questions I wanted them to ask, and I saw their answers. It took hundreds of interviews, even after the headhunters had only selected the best, but it was well worth the time put in. I was amazed at the true compassion that some humans had (I almost saw myself as a different species at this point). It gave me hope that the world really could change, given there were so many good people working towards that goal. In the same week, I was also able to acquire an extremely large donor who was willing to support this charitable project. He gave a large enough amount of funding that I could hire whatever team I wanted for several years. I had some of the best researchers, marketers, managers, and general problem solvers that the nonprofit sector had to offer.

May 21st Strength in numbers

It had taken some time for the team members to get used to each other (and to only having a boss via anonymous email), but watching them work was a thing of beauty. I had sent my researchers the methodologies to find the best possible charities, do work with other experts in the field, and defer to them if they found better organizations than my research team did. I had my marketers working to promote the best possible charities that research could find, and I could watch the web traffic and funding grow for each organization they focused on. My managers coordinated the team excellently. I watched them extra closely, for I would have to pick one of them to become the executive director after I could no longer do the job.

May 22nd Changing the world

As the days passed, I watched and helped my team start to change the world. Putting in such talented time was making a big difference in whichever issue we were working on. The organization was structured well and allowed our talent to move quickly from cause to cause, finding points of high impact and exploiting them. It was not as radical as I had once dreamed, but major good was happening.

Seeming them work was brilliant in so many subtle ways, they all thought slightly differently and had a variety of ethical views. Often the sum of the group came to outcomes that I would not have thought of even with all the processing power in the world. I felt more confident in our direction having a diverse set of minds on it and the constant debates that happened on ethics and approach.

I filled out the paperwork needed to become a charity during one of my coffee breaks, but managing such a large staff took much of my time, and helping solve the problems that came up took the rest of it.

May 23rd Sustainability

My last concern was sustainability. I wanted this organization to work without me. I started testing more and more delegation (something I really should have mastered one or two days into the month, in hindsight). Some employees had trouble with the pressure, others excelled. I promoted philosophical conversations during lunch time (via email) to see how my employees thought about things, and which ones were in it for the right reasons. I had several long email conversations with the most promising candidates to replace me. Quite a few seemed good, but one really stood out. There was one young woman whom I had recruited out of a large international aid organization. She was just mid-level management there, but had really excelled in this environment. She had been working to change the world since she was very young, and she was smart, hardworking and kind but also uncharacteristically wise for her age. She had a very different way of thinking and different background to myself but the same core ethics. We would have made a good team if I would have always been able to run at this level. I went to bed considering what I would say to her when I made her the executive director of the organization.

May 24th Setting up a legacy

I was out of time. I could feel the drug start to wear off. I was hoping for a few more days, but not willing to bet on having anything left by tomorrow. I called my new executive director into my office and started talking to her. She was the first and only employee to see my face and learn my real name. I told her everything: how 57K worked, how long its effects lasted, what would happen if it went public, and, finally, how I was just about out of time. I explained that I wanted to give her the drug so she too could have the power for 30 days and do with it what she would. She accepted, as I knew she would, and we discussed how she planned on changing the world. They were decent ideas, but I knew they would be much better soon. She was not starting at an IQ of 87, she was already brilliant. I somewhat regret not having given her the intelligence enhancer sooner. It would have been interesting to talk to someone else that was brilliant. Even though I was always an introvert, it had been a lonely month. She asked if there were any rules, if she could give the drug to two people, or had to pass it on only to one other. I replied that it was for her to decide when she was smarter, but to keep in mind that she would not just need to trust them with the drug, but also whoever else they might give it to or tell about it. You have to trust their judgment and their ethics. You have to trust them absolutely. I would not be able to stop her once she started taking it. She would be able to do more in a day than I could in a year. She nodded gravely. I was gambling on the fact that she was as wise a person as she seemed. The rest of the day, I categorized and sent the most important research I had for her to read, and summarized the key marketing and team-building techniques I had learned. I sent her all the drug research and my personal notes on the modifications I had made. She would not understand them for now, but she would find them easy to read soon. The next day, I would give her the drugs if she still felt ready to use them.

May 25th I can feel myself slowing down

I can feel myself slowing down. I am not as I once was, but I feel "human" again. I am making careless mistakes I never would have made a week ago. I would guess my IQ is only 140 now. Luckily, I set up specific and clear instructions for myself ahead of time, or I never would have made it through the workday. It just came to mind that I should build some fail safes on all the work I did but already my mind would not be able to outhink someone else with 57k at this point so I would just have to hope my successor was more thoughtful on that front earlier.

It also occurs to me in the dying hours of the last day that I should record all that I have done to pass on to the next person who experiences the same change I have gone through. It could serve as a guide, and a reminder of what can be accomplished. It might also be interesting, or perhaps sad, to look back on it myself and see what I was once like. I compiled notes and journal entries I wrote throughout the process and wrote some in to fill in the gaps.

I've now written this out and, after my last entry, will print off two copies: one for myself, and one for my new executive director. I will soon delete any other trace of its existence. I gave my successor the drugs, and have prepared to send her this story. No power of will can delay the inevitable, and I must go to sleep, even knowing that I will never wake up the same again. I trust her more than I would have trusted myself with the drug so at least that seemed like a step in the direction. I got 57k through pure luck, she got it through an intensive process of trying to find the best person to improve the world.

Afterwards

I think I made the right choice. It's hard to tell, but I am happy I have a good friend group and a girlfriend that is good for me. I don't work anymore but I volunteer for my old charity doing cleaning and handyman tasks. I feel good being a part of it but looking back on the whole experience feels like a different person or a past life. I am not really sure what the boss does, she tried explaining it to me once, but I could not follow it very well, I think she is doing good stuff from what I can see. I hope I made the world a better place. I think I did.